Strip Poker Game

My Church's Strip Poker Evening - An irreverent strip poker story

Register OR Login
Email: 
Password*: 
*If you haven't set a password yet, leave blank.
Remember Me   
We respect your privacy. Your information will not be disclosed to any other parties.

Josh Wilde ~ author of Wilde is the Joker

My Church's Strip Poker Evening - An irreverent strip poker story


The Church of Strip Poker

"Well, you won't be able to accuse our little church of only having boring events anymore," the Rev. Jones beamed when we ran into each other in the supermarket last week.  "We're sending five men and five women to Las Vegas!"

"Really?" I asked in shock.  "Forget the fact that you're always telling us that gambling is a sin.  How will the church afford the trip?"

"Ralph Burke has volunteered to pay for the whole thing," Rev. Jones said.  "He told me that if everyone shows up at his house on Saturday evening, the rest will be on him."

"That doesn't sound like Burke," I replied.  "I've never known him to even pick up the tab at Lucy's Diner."

"You shouldn't put him down like that," Rev. Jones admonished me.  "He is being very generous.  In fact, he even guaranteed me that nobody would lose a cent at the tables.  That's why I approved it.  If he will be covering all their losses, they can't really be gambling."

"Were those his exact words?" I asked suspiciously.

"No," the pastor conceded.  "He told me that he would invite the whole group to play poker on the Strip and that they didn't even have to bring any money with him."

"Uh, are you certain that he didn't say he would invite the whole group to play strip poker?"

"Maybe," Rev. Jones replied, "but what is the difference?"

"Strip poker isn't played in casinos and it isn't played for money," I informed him.  "Ralph is simply inviting them to his house to play a game where the losers have to take off all their clothing."

"That's horrible!" the pastor exclaimed.  "How will I ever explain this to the bishop?  The women who will be coming are so ugly that if they lose the men will be subjected to cruel and unusual punishment."

"Can't you find five better looking women to replace them?"

"All the attractive women in our church are married," Rev. Jones said, "and I am fairly certain that the bishop would really disapprove of the church arranging for five beautiful married women to get naked in front of five men who aren't their husbands."

"Not if you invite him," I suggested.

"Would he have to take off his clothes, too?"

"He would if he loses," I replied.

"Then that is out," Rev. Jones answered.  "If the bishop gets undressed in front of them he will not only be defrocked for the evening -- he will be defrocked permanently."

"Only if the women complain to the Episcopal Council," I said.

"I've seen the bishop naked in the golf club locker room," the pastor told me.  "I can guarantee that they will complain -- as soon as they stop laughing."

"What are you going to do?" I asked him.

"I don't know.  Maybe I can convince the Unitarians to go to Ralph's house instead of us."

"Won't they consider it a sin?" I asked.

"Don't be silly," Rev. Jones told me.  "Unitarians don't consider anything to be a sin."

"You certainly would have a better chance with them than you would with the Baptists," I conceded.  "They think that everything is a sin."

Rev. Jones and I left the supermarket and I didn't see him again until the following day.  He still looked very depressed.

"The Unitarians turned me down," he said.  "It seems they hold their own strip poker games on a regular basis and don't believe in inter-faith gatherings. I tried Father Kelly at St. Mary's Catholic Church and he ordered me to say 1000 'Hail Marys' and 2000 'Our Fathers'.  In a last attempt I called Rabbi Levy and asked if his congregation would be interested."

"What did he say?" I asked.

"He was fine with the idea," Rev. Jones said, "until he spoke to Ralph Burke about it. Then he turned me down flat."

"Why?" I wondered.

"It turns out that Burke is as cheap as you told me," the Rev. Jones replied sadly.  "The only refreshments he is going to be serving are ham sandwiches."




At Gambling City, we want all of our members to gamble responsibly, wager within their means, and to be aware of the advice and information available which can prevent irresponsible gambling. Be Gamble Aware   GamCare   18+ Age Restriction   Responsible Gambling © Gambling City Network 2024
US Players accepted
Every casino appearing accepts US players